Blood Sugar Tests while experiencing Darkness

I have recently taken on the responsibility of recovery of professional fees (for the Insurance related professional services) that are long overdue. An associate of mine has handled these issues for the past few years but has struggled with it as there are conflicts that invariably crop up in doing this kind of work.

As a result, this job has now fallen in my lap recently along with the accompanying conflicts.

I opened the pending payment file on the morning of the 16 Feb, 2011. Sure enough, the darkness started to build up and some very disturbing thoughts started surrounding me. I would like to add this very energy in the past used to make me go mad to the extent that I would have liked to go out and do something ugly to the perpetrators. But I also know from the wisdom gained from other experiences in the recent past that this was yet another experience that is coming my way with a very beautiful gift of learning along with it.

The result of the first blood sugar test that I did at around 1415 hours was 234.

I was not able to deal with the darkness of the moment and was not able to breathe deep as I wanted to so as to come to a sort of acceptance of the situation. I had problems applying the lessons that would have brought peace within.

In the meantime, the darkness kept on becoming stronger and by 5.30 pm I was feeling really miserable, full of anxiety and restlessness. I also knew that I could no longer sit in the office where these energies were all around me as I was becoming more and more agitated by the minute. I rushed home and somehow managed to do a blood sugar test at around  5.45 pm which was 267. (I was in no frame of mind to do a video-recording at that point.) All that I wanted in that moment was to have some food as I was feeling pretty restless. So I had my dinner at 6 pm, as lunch had been skipped as usual. The food did take away the uneasiness and the nervousness that I had experienced.

I did another test at 6.25 pm which showed a reading of 291.

I had my tabla class at around 7 pm and therefore started practicing after a little while. My heart was not into it, though and in normal circumstances, I would have cancelled it. There was this headache also that was steadily increasing.

There was this thought, though, at the back of my mind that this was just another experience that I was having which helped me keep my emotions in check. In the sense that I did not lose control, did not erupt at anyone in the family and therefore did not spread the darkness around.

Afterwards it was a very dull evening just lying on the couch in the living room watching a cricket match on the TV. I did another blood test at around 8.30 pm by which time the levels had gone up to 346.

In the meantime, my breathing had also become a bit better and the pressure inside my head was also getting released slowly. I dozed off and then finally went to bed at around 1030 pm, woke up a couple of times before finally getting up at around 0445 am yesterday. I was feeling fresh and the thoughts linked to the pending payment issues were not as disturbing as the day before.

I did another test at 4.50 am which showed a reading of 204. This is something that I was able to video-shoot as I was feeling comfortable. I did manage to do a bit of writing afterwards before doing a half hour session of deep breathing during which my breathing rate came down to about 3 breaths per minute from the around 15 that I had started with.

I celebrated the morning by having breakfast of egg and toasted bread at around 9 am.

I did another test at around 11.15 am yesterday morning which showed a high count of 356. However, I was feeling absolutely normal. It was a long working day which ended at around 8 pm. Dinner was taken at 9 pm and it was off to bed by around 11 pm.

I slept longer than my usual self and got up only after 8 am. The test that I did this morning at around 830 am showed a reading of 246. However, there have been no unusual feelings.

Regarding this darkness about the overdue payments, I now know that there is still a bit within me but am coming to terms with it. In the sense that I know that my internal conflict about this issue is what has actually made it worse than it was. There is also the realization that all these issues will ultimately be resolved and all the stuck financial energies related to the other profession will finally be released.

That thought itself is giving me a lot of joy in the moment.

And so it is.

About Surinder
Am working as a healing facilitator using the techniques of Reiki, Crystals, Breathing and Food as therapy. Got into this field accidentally. Now this is what I love doing. This space is primarily for posting results of my blood sugar tests along with details of all the factors that I think influence them. The general impression about Diabetes is that it is a companion for life. I disagree and am positive that it's just a matter of time before the truth will reveal itself. I am sharing what I have learnt (and am in the process of learning) about what all can affect human health at my other space

2 Responses to Blood Sugar Tests while experiencing Darkness

  1. Ranjani Mitra says:

    Dear Sir,

    I have always learnt from your personal experiences. This one is amazing. Please continue writing. Your way of looking at darkness in a dispassionate and detached way makes everything seem so acceptable and full of learning !!!

  2. SP Singh says:

    Thank you for the kind words. They do help and in a way provide the motivation to carry on.

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